A confession with my soul

Dear Diary,

Since the existence on the World Wide Web, I have been able to write and share my thoughts, views, opinions and among others with friends and strangers all around the world. I thank you for accompanying and serving me by displaying the contents appropriately and attracting listening ears.

Time flies! I barely remembered leaving to Australia, Tamworth for my air grading course in February. Having successfully completed the course, I returned to Air Force School a month later. Had it not been my Individual Physical Proficiency Test (IPPT) results, I would have proceeded for my Air Force Service Term (AFST) course at the Officer Cadet School (OCS) in early April. Instead, I had no choice and all I could do was to start keeping fit and clear my IPPT. Ultimately, this led to a 4 months delay but it has brought me tons of knowledge and gained valuable experiences on subjects related to inter personal relation, human resource management as well as various scenarios that test my leadership qualities and capabilities. Unknowingly, something attractive triggered my mind and I somehow stumbled into someone’s life and made a mess out of it.

Perhaps, all of these were somewhat planned and arranged or it could be God’s gift. I may not see the roadmap planned for my life journey but I believe that there are many things that had occurred or will be occurring in the near future are not within our means and control. If I were to think about it, had I gone for the April 06′ AFST course, I would not have the opportunity to request for a re-examination of my vision that has helped me secure a place in the photo-refractive keratectomy (PRK) program. There may be many ups and downs throughout this 4 months but I’ve learnt to better appreciate people, things and my life.

To certain extend, I doubt a portion of what I’ve experienced will be replaceable or even forgiven. I’ve had regrets and there are many times I wished I could look back or even turn back the time and let everything occur once again but this time, I would handle the situation using different style and approach. Then again, what’s done has little chance of reversing it. As saying goes, let bygones be bygones. I’m one who is always deep into thinking about various issues and my mind never fails to come up with ideas. In fact, it is so preoccupied with trying to predict, forecast or even analyze thoughts that it makes me gets emotional easily. The only difficulties I frequently encounter are to express my views, opinions and get the message across to the other party. There have been many instances of this shortcoming, which has lead to misunderstandings, miscommunications and even subject of others’ gossips.

Looking forward, I’m glad this ordeal has ended now that I’m able to close this uneventful chapter and move on. For the next 2 month will be a good time for me to leave the bad memories behind, revisit my resolutions and goals which I’ve set out to achieve and start afresh in a new environment. Still, I’ll be honest about one particular issue that has been bothering me. Although it’ll be a good breakaway from the issue, it will not be easy for the little bits and pieces of memories and image to fade away, for it will always live in my heart and soul.

Yours truly,

Alvin